If you follow me on any social media you’ve seen my past year in quips, snarks, humor masks or honesty that may make you cringe. There hasn’t been an illness or death or anything so tragic that would warrant the continuous battle for breath in the deep end, but relentlessly the water just kept covering my eyes and I kept flailing for dear life. Walking away from a decade long wedding photography career, launching our firstborn, rain induced loss of income were among the waves that kept crashing over me. Things others may float through as they restfully sip on their drink of choice in their turquoise inflatable lounge chair were holding me under mercilessly. I was crying and praying and talking to friends and getting up everyday and even laughing some-whimpering and screaming. Is this part of seemingly inevitable mid-life crisis? Help!
I don’t know what your go-to “get out of funk” thing is, but I create. It’s how I’m wired and I think it’s part of how I reflect a creative Creator. I kept praying “Lord, show me what to do and who to talk to” Daily. And her name kept being a whisper until one day when I was walking into BiLo it became a shout and I had to stop in the middle of an aisle to call my friend Katina. (Katina is my brain twin-which has scared us both for a very long time now!) Over the course of the next few months, we had begun a decorating service called “A New Perspective (Decor -for state license purposes)” And a few weeks later we were working on three pretty large projects that honestly felt like life to me. Seriously, I couldn’t wait to get up and work. It was a long awaited buoy. Relief!
The first few months of 2016 were so much fun! We would stop in the middle of shopping for clients together to say “I can’t believe we get to do this!” Each of us was feeling like a long time dream was about to happen. But perspective is a funny thing. It can come in the most unexpected ways like chasing a dream and realizing that green grass wasn’t as pretty as that of your first love. So in May, Katina scaled back to become the best realtor she can be. (And best mom and wife had to fit at the top someway, too!) Fast forward a few months to now. I have realized I can’t be the best photographer I’m called to be when I’m expending the amount of energy and time needed to build and run a decorating business alone. Direction!
I’m not effortlessly floating around at this point but my hope is that He will not let me drown in this season of life. I am grateful for the calming waters. I am excited and humble that people are still wanting me to photograph their families and children and seniors and events. I have a renewed enthusiasm for a job I’ve loved a long time. I am leaning in and willing to move in obedience should He give me another job, but until that happens I am going to keep doing what’s right in front of me to do. Perspective!
A New Perspective (Decor) is officially closing at the end of September after completing a few ongoing projects. Thanks for being with us on this journey.
Truths I’ve grasped along the way…
“God is my provider.”
“I cannot do it all.”
“I am not self-sufficient.”
“My significance does not come from my job.”
“I do not have to fear being irrelevant as I age.”
“He is making all things new.”