Written mid-June after two graduations in our home…
It’s been a month of celebration and sentiment at our house so forgive this Enneagram 4 mom- this may be too personal.
When these two were dreams Mike and I planned for me to be a stay at home mom. She was born and I did, even though “on paper” it didn’t work financially. God provided.
But my film hobby was expensive and so was born the dream of KDP. Then him. Three babies, but the tiny humans always most important. All three growing, changing, requiring of me for nurture. And let me tell you, sometimes I’ve gotten it really really right. Then there are other times that will bury me under the mountain of guilt and regret-except for God’s grace.
Here at the final launch I want to be a scout for the younger working moms and debunk a few delusional myths:
1-Balance. Doesn’t exist. But God. I would have loved to independently walked through everyday with a perfect balance of work and family, but He requires dependence.
2-Purpose. Is not in the kids we raise or the work we do, but in the every day moments of being who and where God asks.
3-Fulfillment. Oh let me count the ways my “fulfilling work” has left me empty. It will come up woefully short if you lean on it to make you feel anything in the long run.
4-Identity. Is a sin I struggle to confess more than any other. It feels awesome to be picked. It feels amazing to be held in high regard in your field. It is even a kick when people recognize your name because of your work. It will fade, way before you are ready, because there are hundreds growing up behind you that will replace you. You young moms will probably have an even shorter “reign” at what you’re great at because our world is just that much faster now. Don’t buy in to lesser identities. Child of God. Beloved Daughter of the Only King.
I stand here- in the final launch. Reflective and a bit disoriented.
A new chapter for each of us.
“I used to think I wanted to be famous
I’d be recognized out in a crowd
But the funny thing is every time, I’ve gotten what I wanted lets me down
But now I just want to look more like love
I just want to look more like love.”